5 Things to Focus on When Dealing With Unexpected Change
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Unexpected change can bring with it cumulative waves of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety. This is especially true at times when the change is on a global scale that is way beyond our control.
The one thing I regularly remind myself at such times is that if I can stay calm, positive, and focused only on what’s within my control, I will hold power over my emotions—because when I’m in control of my emotions, I’m in control of my mindset.
What you may not realize is that your present actions and feelings are a direct reflection of your current emotional state. So if you want to change your actions and feelings at this very moment, you must first change your emotional state. How? You think better thoughts.
“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.”—James Allen
The five ideas below will help you do so.
They will change the way you think, which will trigger a change in your emotional state. If you decide to take action, they will keep your focus and energy on the opportunities for growth, progress, and achievement that arise despite the turbulence of unanticipated change around you.
They’re the five aspects that I lean into when I find myself pulled back by the swell of the wave of uncertainty.
Focus on Your Relationships
When the whole world is on edge shielding from the wind of unexpected change, the most beautiful thing you could do is to be humane — to show compassion.
According to studies, “the amygdala portion of the brain (a part of the brain involved in processing emotional responses) experiences increased activity when faced with unfamiliar threats.” When faced with a threatening situation, such as a global pandemic, the amygdala senses danger and triggers a sudden and intense unconscious emotional response.
If someone’s response is to close off to the world around them, it can leave that person feeling anxious, worried, isolated, and helpless. That’s why uncertainty can drive people to circle inward—it’s just their internal psychological reaction to the external change.
A sign of good mental strength is when you can go in the opposite direction.
When you open up to the gift of giving, you become a source of confidence for everyone else, and in doing so, you also become one for yourself. Expand your connection with others and lift up those around you, so you can, in turn, lift yourself up.
“Give the ones you love, wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay” — Dalai Lama
Be strong, be positive, be compassionate. Realize that your words can ease someone’s pain.
I’m using my writing to lift others, and in doing so, I lift myself up.
I’m connecting with friends around the world to show them that I love them and care about them. We laugh over video calls and that laughter carries precious joy to both our lives.
Author Eckhart Tolle writes:
“To love is to recognize yourself in another.”
Compassion for others is compassion for oneself. When you contribute to the world in this abundant fashion, you’re not only recognizing the human who’s receiving that love, you’re also recognizing yourself.
Ask yourself:
“What can I do to make this phase easier on me and others? What can I do to show more love?”
Focus on Opportunities
It’s easy to dwell on the losses. It’s easy to curve up and look at all that is now beyond you. But when you focus on all that is lost, you fail to recognize all that can be gained.
If you zoom in on all that you can no longer do at times of unexpected change, you will not be able to see all that you can—because your energy flows where your attention goes. Shift your attention to the opportunities at hand and you’ll find yourself in a more positive growth-oriented mindset.
“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” — Eckhart Tolle
The world has slowed down and time is now more abundant. What can you do with it?
Space has been created for you to replace the old with the new. What will the “new” be? What new projects will you start? What new skills can you build and learn?
This situation has freed up some time for me, so I’ve decided I will use the time to read more books and subscribe to an online course on how to improve my productivity. My friend decided to start running her own online yoga classes twice a week—she saw the opportunity and went for it.
“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”—Rumi
There is an ocean of untapped potential within you. Start swimming to explore it.
Focus on Today
Perhaps this is an honest reality check that all we really do have control over is what we do today.
The past is behind us, and it has no power over the present moment. There is no reason to revisit the past if your intention is not to learn from it.
The future is an abstraction. It’s nothing more than an idea that is yet to exist. We have no control over our future, but we do have influence over the direction in which we decide to move. And this influence is solidified by the actions that we take today.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” — Eckhart Tolle
You are continually creating yourself through each day's contributions, achievements, and results. Your daily actions and habits are compounding to who you will become tomorrow.
This is the only “future” that has any reality — the “future” you are consciously creating at this very moment.
So make the “now” your primary focus.
Focus on Who You Want to Become
Building on the previous point, and if you accept these two ideas:
All you have is the “now”
Your future is what you are actively creating at this very moment
Then you will realize that who you will become in a year’s time is a direct reflection of what you’re doing today.
This is a profound realization.
Many people define themselves by external circumstances. And when these circumstances unexpectedly change, they lose their sense of identity.
If you attach who you are to your external environment, you will always be at the mercy of your circumstances. But if you attach who you are to who you are becoming—to the internal cues, ideals, and intentions—a change in your external environment will have no drastic impact on your identity. You will simply adjust the path and continue on your mission.
This global pandemic hasn’t halted the progress of my life. It has definitely altered it—I am stuck at home, my productivity isn’t where it was a month ago, and my e-commerce business had definitely come to an unexpected halt—but my journey continues.
I am still writing because I’m focused on who I want to become: a writer. I am still networking because I am focused on what I want to build: a creative network. I am still learning, journaling, exercising.
All I did was adapt.
This is the time to ask yourself:
“Who do I want to become?”
This is the time to take advantage of external confusion and cultivate self-direction and inner-peace. Create your purpose. Meditate to become more self-managed. Journal to become more self-aware.
Focus on the progress you’re making toward who you want to become.
Focus on Gratitude
There’s a quote by Mahatma Gandhi that I always fall back to when I want to shift my thoughts from envy, greed, and frustration or my emotional state from sadness and bleakness to feeling more positive and grateful.
“I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”
It reminds me that despite all my troubles, I am lucky. It reminds me that in-spite of all my problems, I do not wish to try and live with the problems of others.
Research has proven that gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness and positive lasting effects on the brain. It helps us feel more positive emotions, become more resilient in dealing with adversity, build stronger relationships with family and friends, and live in a healthier mental space.
I practice gratitude every single day, and I do it by writing one single line every day before I go to bed.
Roman philosopher Marcus Tullius Cicero wrote:
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
If you can open the door to gratitude in your life, all other doors will open up for you.
Gratitude is the first key to dealing with unexpected change: Gratitude for what was, what is, and what will be.
So, I ask you one last question:
“What are you grateful for today?”