How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Fully Step Forward into Your Growth Zone: 10 Steps to Follow
There’s an old English adage dating back to the 16th century that says:
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
It essentially means that if we don’t engage in new experiences, we don’t gain new perspectives. And this still holds true today.
From the ancient sailors who weathered storms to explore new lands to the modern digital entrepreneurs who’ve built remote online businesses, life continues to reward those who venture into the unknown. Why? Because they’re the ones who were willing to get uncomfortable. They’re the ones who’ve embraced discomfort and the true nature of the human experience: An always-changing, ever-evolving, growing process.
We are here, on earth, to evolve; that’s why it’s called “human evolution.”
So why aren’t you growing?
You’re not growing because you refuse to get uncomfortable. You’re not growing because you refuse to engage in new experiences. You’re stagnant, way too deep into your comfort zone. You’re not growing because every shackle clung onto your comfort (to try and ‘keep you safe’) continues to hold you back. And thus, you’ve rendered yourself incapable of change.
Here’s what you need to realize: Almost everything you need to achieve your goals requires new skills, habits, knowledge, and experiences. To go from where you are to where you want to be, you must do things you’ve never done before. You must be willing to get uncomfortable because discomfort is the only path to growth. There is no other way.
The truth is that to really ascend, rise above your former self, and completely change your life, you have to not only be okay with discomfort, you have to fall in love with the journey it bears with it. Discomfort isn’t a moment in time, it’s a passage in time. It’s a way of living—of continuously working through tension points to release their grip on you rather than shying away from the tension itself.
In short: Growth demands a new you.
In the sections below, we’re going to explore the three things that hold us in our comfort zone and how to break free from them so we can finally step out of our comfort zone and leap right into the growth zone and stay there.
The Comfort Pull: What’s Holding You Back From Leaping Forward?
Your comfort zone is tempting. It’s that comfy couch that calls you over, wraps you with warmth, and then sulks you deeper into its core. It’s seductive. But linger in it a little too long and it becomes harder to stand up again—the gravitational pull is too strong.
And that’s the reason you stay stagnant where you are.
You’re not in motion or action. When you’re not moving, you’re not exploring. And when you’re not engaging in new experiences, you’re not learning or building new skills—you’re just there, existing in time, but not evolving through it.
Not venturing, not gaining.
But hey, I hear you. I know you get it. And I know you have dreams you want to reach.
You want to write that book. You want to join that new startup. You want to move to Bali. You want to start that side project. But why is it that you’re still stuck in this zone? And why is it so hard to get out of it?
The Comfort Pull
There are three tension points that keep us cemented in our comfort zones: Our mindset, overthinking fear, and a lack of action.
1. Mindset.
First and foremost, there’s no fire to light the spark. And if there’s no fire underneath your seat, how do you expect yourself to jolt upward and start the run?
Look, you need a goal that inspires you. Because for a goal to matter, it has to stretch you. And for you to stretch with it, you have to first believe that you can achieve that goal.
In other words, you need to work from what psychologist and author Carol Dweck coined the Growth Mindset, which, in her words, is “based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others.” Your qualities, confidence, and capabilities are not fixed; they are mobile. They evolve, just like you do.
Right now, you’re thinking too small (you’re not inspired) and you’re working from a fixed mindset (which belittles you).
2. Fear.
Fear of the unknown. Fear of uncertainty. Fear of failure. Fear is the second reason the harness continues to tug you back.
You’re afraid of the unknown that change will bring with it, but have you considered that change is the constant? Whether you create it or not, change will happen. The safety of your comfort zone is just an illusion because the unknown is always just that—an unknown. You might’ve thought that your comfortable job was “safe” and then the unknown arrived in the form of pandemic and you lost it.
Here’s what you need to realize: Your life can change in an instant.
Uncertainty is the way.
You’re also held back by the fear of failure, but failure is just another word for “lessons learned.” And so the question is, are you really afraid of learning new lessons?
Of course not.
And then you say: “I don’t know how to leap.”
To which I say, the comfort pull is so strong because you’re so obsessed with “the how”—with trying to plan every inch of every move, figure out every step of the way, and map out every detail of the process in an attempt to eliminate the unknown, the uncertainty, and the risk of failure.
But that’s not how life works—we can only control a small degree of it.
When you let ‘the how’ overshadow ‘the what’, you overwhelm yourself with unknowns, uncertainties, and fragmented imaginations. What happens next? You feel discouraged. You stifle yourself. And you sink deeper into that couch.
3. Action.
In part due to your fixed mindset, and in part due to your fearful overthinking, you are now left powerless. The pull of comfort is far greater than the pull of growth, and so you haven’t even tried to take the smallest action toward your goal—you haven’t given yourself the chance to validate that it is possible to shed the old and grow into the new.
So to bring it all together, here’s why you feel stuck in that comfort zone:
You have the wrong mindset; your goals don’t inspire you and you don’t believe that you can reach them even if they did.
You’re overthinking the fear.
You haven’t tried to step out of it.
How to Get Out of That Comfort Zone
The irony of the comfort zone is this:
You will most likely not be willing to step out of your comfort zone and into discomfort until you are extremely uncomfortable with the comfort zone itself.
Think about it:
Not until you’re totally bored with the comfort of your corporate job, will you consider to apply to that startup. Not until you’re fed up with the hustle and bustle of the city routine, will you consider the move to Bali. Not until you’ve mastered the learning curve of blogging, delved into its familiarity, and feel like you’ve hit the ceiling with it, will you consider to start writing that book.
When your comfort zone becomes so uncomfortable, that’s when the spark is lit. And that’s when you need to step up to the stage and ignite the fire. That’s when the new version of you needs to show up.
When you sit to reply to your work emails and you feel the life within your soul escape your body, that’s the sign that a new version of you needs to step in and make change happen—one who isn’t afraid to take action and make the switch.
When you sneer at anyone who’s living the remote life you dream of and mask your jealousy with scrutiny and doubt, that’s the sign that a new version of you needs to step in and make change happen—one who is confident in their qualities and their ability to figure it out if they commit to it.
So here’s the message I want you to remember:
Discomfort in the status quo is a sign that it’s time to make a change, and discomfort demands a new version of you to show up.
We tend to think that discomfort is our enemy. But what if we changed the lens we’re looking through? What if we began to see discomfort for what it is: Our ally. The voice. A whisper so loud, it trembles our body. Our inner guidance telling us that we are meant for more because we are capable of more.
And what if we allow it to move us into action?
Discomfort in our comfort zone is the sign that it’s time for us to step out of that zone and get really uncomfortable as we fully step forward into our growth zone.
Read that line again.
I learned this when I realized it was time for me to leave the comfort of my parent’s place and move alone to France and learn French. It was the most thrilling and exciting adventure in my early twenties and I went back home a different person.
I learned this when I felt so uncomfortable curling within the comfort of working at a place like Google that I was compelled to shake things up and try and forge my own path through entrepreneurship. I experienced the most personal and professional growth of my life within that first one year of faith alone, compared to all the previous working years combined.
That’s the power of discomfort—it pushes you away from the perils of comfort and pulls you into the bliss growth.
So how do you step out of that comfort zone?
You need to identify the tension point and work through it.
As mentioned earlier, there are three of them: mindset, fear, and action. Here’s how you work through those tension points to break free from their grip so you can walk straight into the boundless growth zone.
1. Change your mindset—believe you can.
There are two points here.
First, you want your goal to inspire you. To make you feel so damn excited about life you pick up your chair, throw it out the window, and dance with joy. Okay, not that excited, but you know what I mean. The goal of launching your own side project and seeing it grow is inspiring. It will get you moving. The goal of taking a year off to live abroad and experience a new way of living is exciting. It will get you moving.
Second, you want to nurture a growth mindset.
Right now, you might be living with a fixed mindset—you believe that your qualities are set in stone and thus, you cannot change. Drop that idea altogether. With a growth mindset, believe that you are capable of change and expansion , that you can improve with consistent effort.
In her book, Mindset, Carol Dweck writes:
“My research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others.
Believe that you can and break free from your limiting beliefs.
Your skills are learned, developed, and improved through deliberate practice and continued effort. If you still don’t believe me, or Carol, then read this article on how in five days you can become an artist.
2. Stop overthinking—work with that fear, not against it.
In his book The Originals, Adam Grant mentions a study done at Harvard Business School where professor Alison Brooks asked students to deliver persuasive speeches in front of a judging panel.
With only two minutes to prepare, many students were “visibly shaking.” So to help them manage their fear, professor Brooks asked the students to speak three words out loud before they delivered their speech. She randomly assigned them to say either “I am calm” or “I am excited.”
This was the result:
“When students labeled their emotions as excitement, their speeches were rated as 17 percent more persuasive and 15 percent more confident than those of students who branded themselves calm. Reframing fear as excitement also motivated the speakers, boosting the average length of their speeches by 29 percent.”
Fear only rises when we are interested in an action that scares us.
Fear equals interest because we only feel it when we’re dealing with something we truly care about. The students above wanted to deliver good speeches to their judges, so naturally, they felt fear. Otherwise, why would they?
Your fear of uncertainty, fear of failure, fear of the unknown—fear in general—is an indicator. It means you’re consciously trying to make change happen, and so resistance presents itself in the form of fear or self-doubt to try and stop you.
That’s the tension you need to dissolve; and you do so by working with it, not against it. You reframe fear into an equally intense emotion. You lean into it and allow it to motivate you, not shrink you. You match its negative intensity of “I am afraid” with another equally intense positive emotion: “I am excited.”
(Read more on how you become fearless).
3. Take action—bridge the “unknown” gap with one small step.
When you drive late at night, can you see what lies way ahead of you? No. You see only as far as your headlights beam. And yet, you drive in peace and faith because you have your destination in mind and you know that the next miles will reveal themselves to you as you approach them.
The same principle applies in life: All you need is a goal, the map reveals itself to you as you begin walking the path.
That’s why in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey wrote:
“Begin with the end in mind.”
No one expects you to know the exact steps you’re going to take.
Life doesn’t work that way.
All you need is a goal and the clarity for the next step you need to take. You bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be one small step at a time.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”—Lao Tzu
So how do you apply this?
Here are ten steps you can follow.
The 10 Steps That Will Get You Out of Your Comfort Zone and into Your Growth Zone
Show up. Get so uncomfortable being in your comfort zone and realize that all you’ve done thus far has brought you to where you are today, so where you want to go will demand a totally new version of you to start showing up.
Reflect. Reflect on your motivations and get clear on why you are ready to step out of this zone. Write them down so you remember them. Also, consider what would happen in a few years if you don’t take action today to change that status quo. Will you look back in regret? Most probably, you will.
Write down your goal. What’s the direction you want to move your life in? Remind yourself every single day of that goal and why you want to achieve it.
Shift your identity. A goal is not about the achievement, it’s about the person you become because of it. Every new goal demands a new version of you to show up—a new identity. So, ask yourself: “Who must I become?” Describe yourself with the qualities of that person. See yourself today, and behave, as who you wish to become tomorrow.
Build up your confidence and growth mindset. Accept the idea that you can figure it out, you can make it happen, and that once you take one small action in the direction of your goal, all the “unknowns” will start to reveal themselves to you. Train yourself to value growth over comfort, learning over familiarity, and failure and effort over never trying.
Reframe fear into excitement. Which of the six fears is it? Work with it, not against. Realize that there will be enormous self-doubt and insecurity, and that’s completely natural—that is the way. Discomfort is the way forward—there is no other way. As you continue to walk the path, you will gain experience and experience is what teaches you how to better manage those emotions.
Move and take one baby step after another. Action begets clarity. Once you know what it is you want, you now have a direction to move into. Now, ask yourself: “What’s the next step I can take?” Keep moving and whatever happens, don’t give up or turn back.
Surround yourself with a supportive group of people. Keep company with the ones who will uplift you, not the ones who will shut you down. The ones who you will see your enthusiasm and cheer you on, not the ones who will dampen it with vain. Your environment will play a big role here. Let go of the critics and hang onto the supporters. There’s nothing bleaker than having your spirit wrecked because of someone’s lingering pessimistic presence.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh at yourself and your mistakes. Consider how your adventures will become brilliant stories that people will want to hear. And when you fall (and you will), scarp the dust off your knees and get back up. What’s the meaning of a win if we never learn how to lose?
Focus on the good stuff. Water your strengths. Celebrate your progress. Have fun and enjoy the journey of “figuring it out” because that’s what life’s about.
What Matters to You
In the comfort zone, which is where most of us spend our time, life feels safe. But everything we dream of becoming lies in the growth zone. In that second zone, you will feel vulnerable and afraid and insecure, but in that struggle, that’s where the magic happens. That’s where the growth and learning take place.
That’s where you evolve.
Change begins when we recognize that the pain of living in this stagnant, unsatisfying, and familiar zone is much worse than the discomfort of stepping outside of it, growing, and trying new things. Lean into that experience of discomfort and don’t shrink back because you have to go through the realm of discomfort to get what you want in life—there is no other way.
Starting before you’re ready isn’t easy, but if you want to change, it’s necessary.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow once wrote that “you will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.” If you step into growth, in the long run, it will equip you with the skills, knowledge, and experience that will lead you to safety.
Between where you are today and where you want to be—who you are today and who you want to become—there’s discomfort. It’s the passage that carries you forward. Embrace it, and you will bloom. Shun it away, and you will shrink.
As the saying goes:
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
Leap, plant your feet firmly in that growth zone and don’t look back.
But first, life is demanding a new version of you to show up. The question is, will you?