How Changing Your Identity Helps You Build Habits That Stick
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Tell me if this sounds familiar:
Summer is around the corner and it’s time you shed off a few pounds. So you decide to start exercising daily. You sign-up for a gym membership and start training every single day. A few weeks later, you start to get a little discouraged—you’re not seeing any results and you’re finding it difficult to stay motivated. So what happens? You quit.
In this case, you’re struggling to make a change (or new habits) stick.
Likewise, a part of you aspires to become a painter or a writer, but you’re struggling to find the time to sit down and do it. You know that you’re talented in it and you really enjoy doing it, but anytime you try to get started, you face resistance and shy away.
While in the first example, you struggled to maintain the change, in this case, you’re struggling to create it.
It does sound familiar, doesn’t it?
So how do you get over this resistance?
It’s quite simple actually.
Operate the change from an identity-based approach instead of the traditional outcome-based approach.
The Identity-Based Approach
For years, I repeated the same old narrative to myself: tomorrow, I will write. And for years, I didn’t.
I couldn’t understand why. I regularly journaled in my notebook but, for some reason, I couldn’t develop a consistent, committed habit of writing publicly.
That was until I began to understand this golden rule of life: behind every system of actions is a system of beliefs.
How do you create change and then make it stick? You begin by first seeing yourself as who you want to become and bridge that image as part of your identity.
You begin by first changing your identity and the story you tell yourself. Because that’s how you’ll move from “wanting to be a writer” to “thinking and acting like a writer”, from “wanting to be an entrepreneur” to “being, acting and thinking like an entrepreneur.”
“True behavior change is identity change. You might start a habit because of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes part of your identity.” — James Clear
You must make whatever change you want to see as an extension of who you are today.
So, let’s go back to our previous examples.
If you want to make exercising a daily habit, then you begin by starting to see yourself as an athletic person. “I am an athletic person” therefore, “I eat, drink and exercise as an athletic-minded person would.” What do athletic people do? They exercise. So your job now is to do exactly that—exercise.
If you want to start writing, then you must begin by first seeing yourself as a writer. “I am a writer”, therefore, “I write.” What does a writer do? She writes and publishes every single day. What should you do now? Write and publish—every single day.
Make it Congruent
If behavior is incongruent with the self it will not last.
You may want to build greater financial wealth, but if your identity is of someone who consumes rather than invests and creates, you’ll continue to behave that way.
You may want to become healthier, but if your behavior prioritizes comfort over discipline and exercise, you won’t be drawn to training.
“It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying belief that led you to your past behaviour. You have a new goal and a new plan, but you haven’t changed who you are.” — James Clear
Two Questions to Ask Yourself
Change the way you see yourself and the story you tell yourself. Change your identity first and you will be in a better position to build habits that stick.
You do that by shedding your older self and integrating the element of who you want to become into who you are today.
Your goal is not to lose weight [outcome], your goal is to become athletic [identity].
Your goal is not to publish a book [outcome], your goal is to become a writer [identity].
Your goal is not to stop smoking [outcome], your goal is to become a non-smoker [identity].
Your goal is not to wake up earlier [outcome], your goal is to become an early riser [identity].
Your goal is not to learn Spanish [outcome], your goal is to become a Spanish speaker [identity].
Through the process of becoming, you’re building a new identity that you’re proud of. It’s an identity consciously chosen by you, for you. And when things truly matter to you, you’ll be truly committed to making them happen. That’s because “the more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you will be to maintain the habits associated with it.”
So ask yourself these two questions:
Who do I want to become?
What will I have to do every day to affirm it?
Do you want to become a painter? Then think, act and do what a painter does: they paint.
Do you want to become an entrepreneur? Then think, act and do what an entrepreneur does: they are accountable, they take control of their finances, they are constantly learning and actively building a project (not just talking about doing so).
This is how you affirm what you believe—and with time, become it.
How Changing Your Identity Helps You Build Habits That Stick
I now see myself as a writer. I’ve incorporated writing into my everyday routine. I’ve committed to writing daily because that’s what writers do — we write, we publish — even when we don’t feel inspired to do so.
Writing has become an extension of who I am. It’s in my bio descriptions and on my personal website. It’s what I tell people when they ask me what I do: I’m an entrepreneur and a writer.
It was this simple mental shift that got me started on this path that I so longed for, but never found the strength to pursue—and more so—maintain. It took me from 5 articles in 7 years to 30+ articles in 3 months.
Your identity is the foundation of who you become. Address it first if you care to create authentic, sustainable change in your life and make new habits stick.