How to Become Young Again: Unleash Your Curious Inner Child and You Will Never Stop Growing
Inner Child Artwork at Burning Man
We were driving through Jasper National Park last week—on our way to a six-hour hike up a mountain trail that would take us 2,300 meters in elevation toward a 360-degree panoramic view of mountain peaks—when we lost the signal on our phones.
Unsure if we were still headed the right way, we pulled off to the side of the road and parked behind an idle car.
There was an older man standing there, facing the trunk, with a fishing rod held in his hand. So my brother and I stepped out and approached him.
We asked him if we were still on track, he nodded. Then we asked him where he’s from and he said that he’s originally from the east coast, but had moved to the Canadian Rocky Mountains almost thirty years ago.
So my brother exclaimed: “Ah, cool! So you grew up on in Ontario?”
To which, Jim smiled and replied: “I haven’t grown up yet.”
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“What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a question that we’re constantly asked as kids and are expected to have an answer for.
Honestly, I think that’s a terribly flawed question to be asking because it conditions us to believe that (1) we must choose one thing we want to do for the rest of our lives, and (2) that growth is a game that ends upon reaching adulthood (but, of course, it isn’t).
The truth is, we never stop growing, we just think we do. Who you were ten years ago is totally different from who you are today. And the same will apply to ten years from now. As the author and psychologist Daniel Gilbert put it:
"Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they are finished."
But Jim’s response really got me thinking: While aging is something we must all endure, perhaps the idea of growing up isn’t? And if we learn how to reconnect with our inner child—our youthful spirit—wouldn’t that invite more excitement, playfulness, creative expression, and wonder into our mundane everyday life?
Your Inner Child is Naturally Curious, so Why Aren’t You?
Pablo Picasso once said that “it takes a very long time to become young.” It was his response when prompted with the question of why his earlier paintings were more linear, structured, and formal and his later ones became more vibrantly colourful and spontaneously youthful.
Perhaps what he means is that as we grow older in age, expand our knowledge, and become more rooted in our everyday vocational pursuits, we quickly lose touch with our playful inner-child. We bow down to the systems and rules and regulations—to the notion that “that’s the way things should be done.”
As a result, we disembark the curiosity train. We stop making new connections between different ideas. We stop exploring new territories and experimenting with novel colors. We stop asking why things are done this way and instead ask “how can I do them faster?” What happens next? “Meaning” is completely lost and it slowly makes way for efficiency. And so, as fun, wonder, and thrill ebb with the tide, we naturally stop playing.
Hence, we arrive at a point in adulthood when it will take us a very long time to unlearn what we’ve learned so we can unshackle our curiosity, unleash it back into the world, and, as Picasso put it, become young again.
To Become Young Again, Reconnect With Your Inner Child
Becoming young again means becoming curious again.
And it begins with asking questions.
Based on research, children ask an average of 107 questions per hour. Now, you might say that it’s completely unrealistic for us adults to ask that many questions an hour, and yes, I agree—we’ve got shit to do—but there is a way around it.
The secret lies in a concept in Zen Buddhism known as Shoshin, or “beginner's mind.” Shoshin encourages us to regularly shed our preconceptions about a particular subject in order to maintain an attitude of openness toward it.
It’s only when we develop our knowledge and grow in a particular area of life that we naturally become more closed-minded about it. So when we approach our life from a beginner’s mindset, we are more open and willing to learn new things just like a child marvels at the curiosity of discovering something new.
The best way to reconnect with that curious child that lives dormant in you is to be passionately curious and make it a habit of questioning everything:
Why am I doing this, this way?
How can we test this idea?
How can I design a better life for myself?
What if we try approaching this problem from another perspective?
Where can I tweak my process to triple my results?
Why are we dealing with this problem in the first place?
What do I enjoy doing and how can I make more time for it?
“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious… The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
—Albert Einstein
Curiosity is your willingness to ask questions and probe deeper. And it’s one of the five mindsets you need to design yourself a life you love.
Keep asking questions and you will stay curious.
Stay curious, and you will become young again.
Curiosity Leads to Wonder, Wonder Sparks Imagination, and Imagination Inspires Change
“I haven’t grown up yet.”
Jim’s five words really struck me. They were beautiful to hear from a man in his early fifties who is still embracing this gift of a journey that is life. In his eyes, he is still a child who is still growing up and discovering the vastness of the world around him.
Our inner child is what allows us to explore and create. It’s the engine of our imagination. And we all need to fiddle with a greater sense of wonder if we are to spark change in our life.
Consider this: Every single person who has created or innovated something had to indulge in a heightened dose of imagination.
Steve Jobs imagined a computer-phone device held in our hands; his imagination led him to the iPhone. Elon Musk imagined a luxurious electric car that would stop polluting the planet, his imagination led him to Tesla. J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series was born out of curiosity and imagination, and so were Picasso’s paintings.
And so was every clothing brand you wear.
Every book you read.
Every song you listen to.
And every painting you look at.
In fact, this very article you’re reading right now was sparked by Jim’s comment, which got me curious, asking questions, and imagining the core life lessons I can draw from it.
So here’s what I want you to realize:
Any act of creation first blooms from curiosity, wonder, and imagination.
In essence, that’s what Steve Jobs hints at when he said that:
“Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it… Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.”
Live with a Sense of Wonder: You are an Artist, Go Make Art
In the 13th century, Rumi wrote: “Inside you there’s an artist you don’t know about.” In the 20th century, Picasso said that “all children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”
What these great thinkers are telling us is what Jim has already embraced in his life. He is older in age, but he is still very young in spirit. He reminds himself every day that he hasn’t grown up yet. He believes it, and that’s why he continues to joyfully play throughout his life.
If excitement is ever lacking in your daily life, then I urge you to reconnect with your inner child so you can unleash its innate sense of wonder. Keep asking questions so you can stay curious, and when you land on an exciting idea, let your imagination take you for a ride.
And speaking of questions, I think it’s best if I leave you with what psychologist Stephen Diamond asks his readers in his book Psychotherapy for the Soul:
“Has your adult self spent time with your inner child today?”