Chasing New Shiny Goals Won't Make You Any Happier Because Happiness Comes From Within
Earlier this morning I went for a long walk.
At one point, I stood alone in an empty field of grass and looked around. It was the same field I had wandered to around a year ago when I was really struggling and unhappy in my entrepreneurial journey.
But today felt different.
I felt full—at peace, content, happy.
It wasn’t because my life has changed for the better. I’m still living where I am with the same environmental and financial conditions (even worse technically, given the pandemic that hit us this year). The difference then lies in my outlook on life. The difference is in the energy I am projecting today—this new perspective I am carrying with me everywhere I go:
“There is nowhere for me to ‘arrive to’—I’m already here.”
Let me explain.
We’ve been wired to believe that success is a measure of speed. That success is somewhere we must arrive to. That achievement is found in the hustle and grind. That there’s always more action to take, more targets to hit. And all this kind of thinking has left us running around feeling empty, chasing new goals, and constantly raising the bar of what it means to ‘make it.’
As a result, we never truly cultivate a sense of being that is rooted in self-worth and contentment with where we are, right here, right now. And as long as we continue to chase that big elusive dream of an imaginary future, we’ll never be able to truly find happiness and self-worth at the present moment that is happening today.
So here’s what I want you to realize:
Your happiness and wellbeing have nothing to do with how well you think you’re doing, how far into the journey you’ve crossed, or what’s coming next. Your happiness and wellbeing have everything to do with how present, accepting, and content you are with all that is.
You are already here.
Believe it. Feel it. Embrace it.
All that you wish for is already found within you. All you have to do, then, is simply enjoy the process of creating the reality that you wish to see manifest.
That’s it.
Enjoy the journey.
As you write, you are becoming a writer. As you build your company, you are becoming an entrepreneur. As you sow, you are weaving the very fabric through which you shall reap.
It is in the process that we grow and expand and mold our identity.
If we let our wellbeing depend on our circumstances, then the future will always look greener—and we’ll continue chasing it. But if we allow our wellbeing to stem from within, we can stop playing fetch with our own life. We can stop throwing ourselves new bones to chase (bigger, better goals).
So stop being a compulsive goal-setter—you don’t need new goals. You need to be present and content where you are. You don’t need to arrive anywhere, because you’re already here.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pursue your goals. This simply means that you shouldn’t attach your self-worth and happiness to an imaginary point in the future. It means that whatever you decide to work toward should be related to something that is true to you—and not based on what you think you should have, or need, or do because society tricked you into thinking so.
A year ago I was living in constant pursuit of the next big thing because I thought that when I get there, I will be happy. Today, I am here, and I am happy.
A year ago I was living in a constant dilemma of what to do next because I thought when I find it, I could then work on getting there, and I would be happy. Today, I am here, and I am happy.
A year ago, I was working from a place of emptiness.
Today, I am working from a place of fullness.
And fullness can only be rooted from within.
That is the difference I realized earlier this morning.
As Eckhart Tolle explains in The Power of Now:
“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.”
This doesn’t mean that your life will be a breeze. It simply means that while not everything in life will go the way you had hoped or planned, that’s just the natural course of life, and there’s no need to fuss about it. It’s just a fact, not a problem.
When you start living from an internal state of fullness, the pull of external fulfillment loses its grip on you. You’ll start living from the inside-out, rather than the outside-in. You’ll realize that it doesn’t take very much to make the deepest part of you incredibly happy. All it takes is to be here. To appreciate. To reconnect with what’s around you. To accept and enjoy the journey of creation.
That’s when you’ll realize that happiness is a deep-rooted rose of contentment that you carry with you everywhere you go—and you are the one who chooses whether or not to water it every morning upon waking up.
So my advice to you is this:
“Don’t let your goals be future-oriented and results-driven. Let your goals be present-oriented and process-driven.”
Let your goals shed light on the journey, not the destination.
Let your goals be aligned with your intention.
They are there to remind you of where it is you are taking your life. They are rooted in what you want not what everyone else thinks you should have. They are born out of your soul. And, as Rumi once wrote:
“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
So stop complicating your life.
Stop raising the bar.
And stop chasing new shiny goals.
Live and work from a place of fullness, acceptance, and peace, and your worthiness and happiness will no longer appear to be a green pasture that is light-years away, they will sprout from a deep well springing abundantly from within, right here, right now—today.
There is nowhere for you to arrive—you’re already here.
P.S. Here are the 10 Typical Daily Habits of Genuinely Happy People.